Tuesday, December 31, 2013

So Was It Better?

Last year's post: Out with 2012. See ya!
 
Hmm. I'm undecided whether it was better or not. I think there has been an increase in people trying to make it better instead of hoping, so that's a plus. And every negative event, as bad as it was, revealed unexpected positive aspects. People may be taking the bull by the horns!

There were tragedies though - worldwide, nationwide, close to home, and in my own circle. I won't try to decide if each of those levels were better or worse than last year, although in my mind I have decided tentatively, for some of them. I'll know better as I'm reminded of stuff, by the many year in reviews there will surely be on TV today.

So how did I do with my self improvement? From my paragraph last year, here's my report card:
  • motivation - some improvement, although the winter has made me a bit sluggish.
  • action - Not sure what I meant by that last year but if it's to be more active and/or proactive, I'd say again, some improvement.
  • self-confidence - in general, little to no improvement unfortunately except for some improvement in one area (see below).
  • improving my health - Yes, I get a good grade here. I've lost 20 pounds, gained some back during the holidays but am now on my way back down again. I have a ways to go but I'm happy with the progress I've made, and my doctors are too.
  • getting my world organized - Nah. I'd say maybe even less so, although I have been preparing to get there...still, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Need to turn those intentions into actions (see above. lol). Stay tuned.
Three of these - motivation, action and self-confidence - did improve for me in one area. I received a request to photograph products for a web site. As it was an actual payed assignment, I was motivated to get some legal details taken care of and so I took action, making Dark Sky Photography an official business. I still have more ducks to line up, preferably before I take on any more jobs, but it's a start. I also have been working on replacing the small makeshift product studio I used, with a larger and more efficient space with better equipment, for the next job. And of course, this was all a boost to my self-confidence.

In general though, I'm very frustrated with my life. Bouts of depression have been worse lately than they have been in years. I've felt hopeless, like it's a lost cause and all been a waste of time, and those are some of the milder feelings. But writing this blog post has helped me realize there is still hope, despite there still being a long way to go. I need to take action. So all of those things I mentioned last year, that I addressed above, are on the table again this year. And probably more. I need to take the bull by the horns. Maybe 2014 will be the year of a great transition for me. I know there will certainly be many changes.

Some strong friendships have weakened and some weaker ones have gained strength. Somewhat of a balance there I guess.

No point in mentioning romantic-type relationships (see hopeless, above). I guess I just mentioned it though.

A similar balance with family relationships, although that's been mostly on a positive trend.

And the family will be growing in 2014! The buns are already in their ovens! :)

Well, this has gone on way long enough. haha.

Happy New Year!! Do great things in 2014!

PS Still deciding on the details, but I'm almost positive I will start a project 365...tomorrow!

Making the rounds on facebook. Seems fitting. :)

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